Thursday, March 15, 2012

Beginning to see the light.

Well... here I go again, desiring to blog more frequently and finding myself revisiting after a nearly 6 month stint of absence. Fail. Yet, I decide to make a statement of re-commitment.

The last 6 months or so have been incredibly life-changing and strangely revealing. It's always right when I think I have everything planned out that life shifts and changes in matter of moments. None of the shifting, revealing or changing is negative in any means, but I just realize how infinitely NOT in control I am! Thank God.

During this period of great growth and expansion I have gotten engaged to the man of my dreams, and realized that the rest of my life could be spent doing nothing as long as I am with him. It wasn't easy for us during our early stages of courtship because of naysayers and unforgiving "friends" that believed they had a better opinion over our lives. But we found that there were a small band of people who believed in us more than we did at times... and inside of that small group of belief we saw the heart of Christ. Jonathan has shown me more love than any man that I've ever met, and he believes in me more than I could possibly ever ask for! If all my life consists of serving Jesus and him I would be perfectly content for the rest of my life.

Through my courtship with Jonathan I have cultivated a deeper desire for my Savior to come. I can hardly wait for the day that I see His burning eyes of desire gaze into the depths of my soul. Face to face. It seems as though the closer we get to seeing those burning eyes, the darkness rages more and more. I am so exhausted and tired of ministry the way that the church has done it, and I'm ready for the man Christ Jesus to take His rightful place as headship over the bride. My heart yearns within me.

There is a voice arising from the inside of me, and I can no longer be kept quiet!

Maranatha.