If my eyes were to strain anymore I'm not sure I'd see things any more clearly than I do right now, so I need to jot this down. My vacation wasn't so much time away for rest and relaxation as much as it was a period of realization and heartbreak. My mountain top experience has shown me that something deep within has been welling up for some time now. Standing on top of that mountain at 10,680ft above sea level I realized that my God, who made this mountain, is bigger than any of these problems or issues I have. I felt like a spec in the midst of a world that continues to spin, regardless of the issues I have going on. After all, He did craft the massive piece of rock that I was standing upon. It's just hard to see when everything seems to be crashing down.
My 5 days away from church and all of my friends showed me that there is a world out there, and they don't know my Jesus. It breaks my heart when I think that there is a generation and a nation that is walking through life, in all its aches and pains, without their Savior to come and sweep them off their feet. It scares me to think that there are so many going to Hell.
And before any of you guys go off thinking I'm condemning anyone to flames, I'm not. I am in fact broken over the fact that there are those out there that don't know this LOVE, they don't know this LIFE saving power. I should have been dead folks, and I deserved every flame in Hell... that is, until Jesus came and wiped it all away! I am not perfect by any stretch of the means, but through Christ I am being perfected daily. Do I mess up? Yes, but through Jesus and his Word I am renewing my mind constantly. I just wish that people could see, I wish that this nation could know... God is real, and hell is hot.
I believe in every word of the bible, but it breaks me in a million pieces when I read that there will be those that literally hate me for His name sake, and I believe it. In fact I've seen it, and I've felt it. The unfortunate part in this is that I hate to be hated, I want to be loved, and I want everyone to love Jesus. I want everyone to know his reality and that his newness is our good! If only we would call upon him and believe. Call me naive, but I guess I don't understand why there is a world that would want to willfully walk on without him. My misunderstanding is my hindrance I suppose.
Holy are you Lord... even in my storms. Be glorified!
My heart has been set ablaze for Him. My King has set hunger pains inside me for more of Him, and I cannot be satisfied until I see him face to face! Blessed are the hungry... He said it. I believe it. I want my hunger to be so contagious though. I want my family to see me on fire for God and know that they are missing something, that there is a love they have yet to experience and there is living waters to quench a thirst this world cannot cure. I want revival. I want love. But more than anything... I want Him. Take it all away, I don't care as long as I have Jesus. Someone greater is on my side.
I'll have to update this more frequently... until then read a blog that is worthy of noting, and pray for Ben and Katie, missionaries in Haiti from Dallas. www.benandkatieinhaiti.com