Tuesday, October 11, 2011

And the darkness cannot comprehend it...

I feel like I am walking out of a rehabilitation center today, and learning for the first time what it means to walk again without the assistance of crutches.

Though this statement make not make sense to most, I know that there are those out there that have felt my pain and discouragement. And though I have been reluctant to start walking things out again on my own... I will. Today I felt like God has released me from the heat of the center of the refiners fire, and allowing me to once again shine with the beauty that He created me for. I am overjoyed, yet terrified..

You are a diamond, beautiful and refined. It's time to shine.

The last four months of my life have been the absolute hardest that I have had to walk through since I have been redeemed. But I know that God works all things together for the good of those that love Him. I don't exactly understand why things transpire the way that they do, but I do know that He has me in the center of His hands. I will choose not to lean on my own understanding, but rather on His, the one that has so graciously loved me through every trial and tribulation.

I must say that I have learned so much, but the greatest of all is that I cannot lean on man to bring me through the tough times. And that those that you think will be there to walk you through a certain season aren't always the ones there walking with you through the fire. My heart has learned grief, sorrow and yet such great joy by walking through these moments, and I know it was all for my good. I have lost relationships that I thought would endure till the end, and I have regained those that I thought were lost forever. It's hard for the human heart to endure loss, but I know that Jesus himself lost even some that he was closest with. His heart's cry though, was to carry on despite the trial, and yet an even greater cry... "that they would be with me where I am."

My heart cannot fully comprehend the light that He has shown into my life lately, but I know that I see through a mirror dimly right now. I will understand one day. I will understand that every tear was not in vain, and I will see Him face to face. No more tears. No more pain. Standing before the King of Glory, I will be fully known and fully loved.

If I could say a word of encouragement to anyone that is walking through a trial or a test, it would be that you stay the course that you know He has planned for you. It may be hard to focus on the prize ahead, but remember that He is with you... even when you cannot see what is in front of you. Through the valley and through the pain, He is faithful until the very end. There may not be a single person walking with you through the darkness or the fire, but it is in those moments that He is closest to you.

God is close to those with a broken and contrite heart.

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