Today has most certainly changed my life. In fact this last weekend of summer for my students has shown me more of God than I've seen in the last few months. With my head resting upon my pillow I find myself astonished before my eyes find sleep. My heart is just so peaceful and content in this moment, when in the last few weeks its felt tumultuous and battered. Don't ask me why, its just felt explosive inside for awhile.
I suppose I'll fill you in on why today has been so life changing... well today I was beyond blessed enough to witness God give joy back to one of my students that has been fervently seeking it for ages. I watched in an instant as God put a smile back on her face, and I literally felt heaven shake inside of my bones. Lauren has been through so much the last year, and I've watched (mostly silent) as she's had to feel her way through growing up. It hasn't been until the last month or so that we've gotten close enough to do life together. But I watched a broken and bruised girl void of the God joy she desired, turn into a woman full of the faith and profound joy of heaven. It was absolutely breathtaking.
The forward to this event would probably seem to make a lot of sense though... so here it goes. Nearly 9 months ago Lauren and I were at onevoice (the college and career service at our church) and there was an altar call for something, I don't recall now what it was for, I just knew that she needed something, and I wanted to pray. Thinking back on it now... we weren't very fond of each other at the moment, but still I wanted to touch God's heart for her. So! I ask her what she wants prayer for and she says for God to give her joy back. It was almost in an instant that God gave me eyes to see something in her that I had never seen. I saw her present self and this "smile" and "joy" weren't genuine, they weren't her's. Then it was like flash forward and I saw Lauren... Lauren as she was supposed to be. It was crazy! So that night was powerful, we prayed for joy, but that was about it. And I honestly forgot about it until today...
Everything was exactly how I saw it... except the smile on her face, it was ten times better in real life, face to face! There's something about watching the girl you've been praying for months turn to you and you just see God all over her. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to laugh or cry. My life was changed in that instant because I knew then what it was about not giving up on someone when they need you. Especially when it comes to bombarding heaven... I knew that God heard my prayers, but to what extent... I had no idea He listened so closely.
My heart has been expanded and filled with love today. I have been changed by witnessing one girl, on the brink of change, finally "get" it. God, that is. But the coolest part is watching the change, seeing the growth and knowing that one small commitment to just be there for someone can be the thing that changes it all!
God is so good, so faithful and just, and I am so crazy in love with the fact that I get to serve Him and His purpose!
Nothing will be the same.